Things I’ve learned as I’ve become a vegetarian: The good, the bad and the disgusting.

They may ask. But they don’t want to know

vegetarian-t-shirt

Do you really, really want to know why I stopped eating meat? Because it’ll probably put you off your food…My experience so far has meant having the same conversation a lot and I’m happy to share if people really want to know, but more often than not I end up having to defend myself against the grilling of a lifetime. It’s just a veggie burger. Keep it together.


Take-aways have become completely disgusting*

vile tofu

Terrible things happen to tofu when it’s transported in a plastic carton across 3 zones. Terrible, terrible things. Also “vegetable” curry offers no more information, appeal or desire than a “meat curry”. Thanks for the info guys…Sounds great!
*with the exception of pizza. This is now my only choice. Thanks you so much Italy!


People seem very concerned about my protein intake all of a sudden

Broccoli vs. Beef

Meat is a good source of protein yes. And I was a little concerned about this when I first stopped eating it, until I learned that there’s literally shed loads of protein in other, very delicious  non-meaty things. Tempted to staple the above to my forehead for future reference

Also- why are we talking about MY nutrition here? How very rude!


Sharing food is a massive pain in the arse. And I’m sorry

you cant sit with us

Nothing worse than seeing that sad resigned expression in a face that has had to deal with sharing tapas with a vegetarian. It’s ok- order the choritzo- but just don’t get all in my face when I’m hogging the patas bravas…

Meat guilt is an actual thing!

guilt dog 2

I’ve heard a lot of “oh, but now I feel bad for ordering the beef”. Erm…why? We’re not the friggin’ food police, glaring at your plate in disgust, seething with rage as we get ready to fling your murder plate again the wall…It’s not a big deal. I still love you.


You get called a hypocrite a lot
“But dairy is really cruel too. So aren’t you like a massive hypocrite?” *Insert satisfied smug face* It must be nice to be perfect mustn’t it? Next my choice of food will only be justifiable if I’m hurling myself in front of a baby seal mid-club.

look_117d44_2255840

The world isn’t binary and my choice works for me, and cuts a bunch of cruelty and environmental damage (not as dramatic as baby seal martyrdom admittedly)even if it is a teeny amount. I really admire vegans for their commitment and in an ideal world I’d be one of em’. But this choice reflects the fact that being vegan is pretty impractical (for me) and I don’t think I want that diet. We all have our own little ways of trying to make a difference.


People fly into wild hysteria and make pretty bold statements about meat when contemplating vegetarianism
For example: How do you live without bacon?! OMFG I simply couldn’t LIVE?!

bacon love

Yes. Yes you could. I used to be the embodiment of the above picture. It’s delicious I admit and the smell of bacon still makes my mouth water. HOWEVER millions of people choose not to eat pork for religious reasons,  yet their decisions are not examined with such horror. But I guess it must be because their reasons are watertight and the belief system completely flawless…


I’ve re-discovered cooking!

dash

It gives you a weird sense of satisfaction to know how important extra firm tofu is and how the hell to make nutritional yeast (yep- it’s a thing) tasty!


Every compliment is a win!

fry

“What have you got for lunch today? Veggie bean chilli you say? Yeah sure I’ll try it” (look of trepidation as fork enters mouth)… “OMG it’s ACTUALLY really nice”.
Yep- I’ll take that!


My cat is way more chill at mealtimes
Before turing veggie I either had to stand up to eat my meals or sit with this:

crevendale cat

Now he regards my food choices with vague disinterest. Like this:

chil cat
It’s all mine kitty!

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